I was pulling the lever of a classic Elvis slot machine in a Vegas casino WAY off the Strip. It was one of those dusty old joints which reeked of ashtrays and cheap cologne. The psychadelic carpet patterns no doubt covered a multitude of sins. Suddenly, a monkey in a bellhop uniform ran right behind me and kept jamming down the row of slots. At this point I’ll admit I had more than my share of the complimentary booze they give you to open up your wallet. Was there an animal act nearby? Whose monkey was this? Hopefully there were no loose lions or tigers or bears (oh my!). I’m 90% sure I saw what I saw. Maybe the monkey escaped, maybe he was found after someone answered a flier saying HAVE YOU SEEN MY MONKEY? I guess I’ll never know for sure.

-Melvis, part time gambler, part time Elvis impersonator